In addition to the challenges of temporarily being a single parent, I also suffered through 3 weeks of what the excruciating bureaucracy of the passport office and customer service (if you can call it that) center. Apparently, if you do not submit the passport paperwork for your newborn six months before he takes his first breath in this world, he will never be able to travel abroad. Never ever. It takes that long.
So, while I haven’t yet organized myself enough to actually write about our trip, here’s a little (actually, it’s quite a lot) correspondence with the Professor to give a little insight into my life as a single parent/trying to get my son’s passport in time for our trip. I warn you now, this is long. And I really don’t expect anyone to read all of it. It’s mostly for me anyway.
[All of the following emails are excerpts of emails from me to the Professor unless otherwise indicated]
5/14/2007
We miss you, too. Charlie has been a little extra fussy for the past couple of days. I think it's because he misses you and is wondering where the hell you are. But, I didn't mind the extra snuggle time this morning while trying to soothe him.
I'm glad to hear that your class went well. When I tell people about what you are doing, they inevitably say, "I want to take that class!" So, I guess to goes to say that if you offer that class next year, it will probably fill up quickly.
[Note: The class was a history of British Rock, with an emphasis on bands in Liverpool and Manchester.]
5/14/2007 (later that same day)
I went to the Outdoor's Outlet on my lunch break to look for a jacket. With the frigid air conditioning in here and our conversation about the cool weather there, I was motivated to find something. I found a nice Columbia fleece/water resistant jacket. I like it. I actually wish I had it on right now. And it cost half the amount of the jackets I found at the regular Outdoors.
Since I was saving so much money and because the only raincoat I could find for Charlie was like $50, I settled on buying him a super marked down fleece pullover. It is so soft and cuddly, and I am sure it will keep him warm while cruising in his stroller. Here's a picture of the fleece I got him.
[Note: I went to buy these items because of the Professor’s suggestion:One suggestion, bring an umbrella and a couple of sweaters. It's chilly and has rained the majority of the time I've been here. Not heavy rain, but a constant light rain that you don't want to walk in for very long unless you want a wet head.
By the time I got to England, temperatures rose to the high 80s. The sun was blazing the entire time I was there. So, the need for a light jacket and fleece for Charlie was moot. Instead, I needed a pair of shorts and sunscreen. Did I pack those items, you ask? No.]
5/14/2007 (even later the same day)
I'm glad you are enjoying the posts. I'll try to put a little something on there every day. I'm looking forward to knocking back a few pints with you in less than a few weeks!
5/14/2007 (and even later)
[Below is from the Professor]
Cathy,
I just got back from Liverpool an hour or so ago. It was a nice way to spend an afternoon. The Beatles museum was OK, but I really enjoyed the Magical Mystery Tour bus that took us around to all of their birth places, Penny Lane, Strawberry Fields, and the Cavern Club. We might want to do it again when you and little C get here. Or at least, we can tour Paul's house. The bus tour guide said it is a nice tour, and it is close to Penny Lane, so you can see that too. As we were riding on the bus today, I was thinking about how much you and Charlie would have enjoyed it.
I just looked at Charlie's blog. Thank you so much for posting so many pictures for me. He looks so big in the pool! The Easy Way pictures are terrific.
I am sorry that I forgot to wish you a happy mother's day yesterday. Boy do you deserve it. I hope you know that I think you are doing a great job as Charlie's mother. He is very lucky to have such a caring and loving mother. I am lucky to have such a strong and beautiful woman as my wife. I hope we never have to spend another mother's day apart so that I can lavish you with the attention and pampering that you deserve on each and every one of them.
I am excited that you will be here in 17 days. I know the time will pass quickly. We are going to have a great time when you get here.
[My response]
I am tearing up as I read this - probably because I miss you and probably because I am tired. I'm having trouble getting to bed at a decent hour because of all the stuff I'm trying to do. Once I get Charlie to sleep, I still have to keep going with food and clothes for the next day, bathing the crap off of Roxy, dishes, etc. You know the drill. It's definitely harder without you, but we'll manage. I am looking forward to Sunday when I get to sleep in. Charlie will spend the night with my mom because Tiffany and Stephanie are taking me out for my birthday (this Saturday is the only time that everyone is in town at once). We plan to have wine, cheese and appetizers at Bari. YUMMY! So, Charlie will spend the night at Nana's, and I get to sleep in. Yea! But then I get to mow the lawn while he's still at her house. So far, the grass hasn't gotten too tall, but we had a big rain/thunderstorm this afternoon, which is supposed to continue throughout the night, so by Sunday, the grass will definitely be in need of a cut. Blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry I'm babbling; it's the sleepies.
I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you. I think the tour of Paul's house sounds nice! I've started reading Bryson's Notes from a Small Island and am loving it. He’s hilarious.
5/16/2007
[The Professor wrote…]
I wish so much that I could be there to help out. I promise that I am going to do EVERYTHING for the rest of the summer when we get back. I'll make your lunch for you, iron your clothes. EVERYTHING. Please don't feel obligated to keep up with the blog every day for my benefit. I know you have tons else to do.
I'm happy to hear that you are getting a break this weekend for your birthday. I am jealous about Bari. The cafeteria food here got old after the second day. I have to run back to class.
I love you. You will be here soon.
[My response]
Thanks, baby. I didn't mean to complain; I'm just extremely tired. Still tired today, too. Yesterday, I vowed to do the minimal work and committed to doing a lot of sitting around last night. Of course, Charlie was not sleepy and didn't go to sleep until after nine. We sat on the couch and watched the season finale of Survivor.
While watching, Charlie was beginning to snuggle in and fall asleep. Then, BOOM, a big burst of thunder. We both jumped, and I immediately got up to get a flashlight. Once I had the flashlight, Charlie could not take his eyes off it. I finally just gave him the little one and he played with it and chewed on it for close to an hour. He finally fell asleep in my arms with the orange flashlight in his hand and resting on his lip in a drooly mess. It was cute, but I wasn't able to get a picture.
5/17/2007
Sounds like you were in for a rough day. I hope the headache and dry mouth and sleepiness isn't too bad. I haven’t had any alcohol since Saturday. I think about getting a bottle of wine, but then I'm either too tired or I forget because I'm too tired, and by the time I remember, Charlie's already in bed. So, your not being here has kept me pretty sober.
Things here are ok. When I picked Charlie up from school yesterday, the teachers said he barfed twice - once he threw up entire lunch of peas and carrots and then he barfed a whole bottle later in the afternoon (He also threw up a little earlier that morning). I was worried, but when we got home, I made a point to just snuggle with him and take it easy. He didn't have a fever, seem particularly fussy, or even seem to feel bad. I gave him some fruit and he ate it all. Then crackers, which he scarfed down. He was hungry!
So, when I went to make him a bottle of milk, the thought occurred to me that maybe it was the milk. I had just opened a new carton of milk the day before yesterday - Tuesday (he also threw up a little on Tuesday morning). I bought two 1/2 gallons of organic milk on sale at Wild Oats (expiration date June 18). So, I decided to feed him straight formula last night and today to see what happens. So far, no more puke. Of course I sniffed the milk, which didn't smell particularly sour but didn't smell good either. But, it seems that when I smell something to see if it has gone bad, inevitably it smells foul. So, I'm just going to open the 2nd 1/2 gallon of milk tonight, and if that makes him puke, I'm taking it back to the store. From now on, I'm going to Easy Way and buying local and fresh milk. Screw the organic stuff - especially since it probably has to travel from California!
[It turned out not to be the milk but a nasty bug that everyone within breathing distance caught. I happened to get it the following weekend. It was so bad that I barely missed throwing up all over Charlie one evening after work.]
5/18/2007
Thanks. I hope you have a good time on your trip. I think Charlie will be fine. My mom is taking him to the doctor this morning. Notice, it's 9:00 my time and I just got to work. Driving back and forth to Germantown is awful! How did we do that every day for so long?
I'm feeling pretty lousy today. I'm just tired but I've been tired for about a week now and it's catching up with me. I hope to be able to go home and get in bed early and sleep late. Hopefully Charlie will be feeling better and can have some milk in the morning. Then, we can snuggle up and go back to sleep!
Only 14 more days! Exactly 2 weeks from now, I'll be scrambling trying to pack out last minute items! Yea!
[Note: What I think is just being tired is the actual barfing sickness coming on.]
5/21/2007
I am FINALLY starting to get excited about our trip! I've only got to get through this week, and then we'll be is as good as gone! I'm still a little concerned about Charlie's passport, though. But, in addition to starting a packing list (the first draft at least), I plan to do a little research on the passport. I found a place on-line where you can check the status, but I need Charlie's SSN to check it, and of course, I don't have it memorized yet. I'll check on it when I get home tonight.
Charlie seems be feeling better. No puking or diarrhea yesterday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get a call from school. We had a good morning. I was able to get up and get completely ready before he got up. So, we had plenty of time to hang out and laugh. When I was feeding him some apple sauce, he made cute little "yum, yum, um, um, yum" noises that made me laugh. Then, when I laughed, he would laugh, showing me all of his teeth. It was fun.
5/22/2007
No sprouts, yet. But it's hard to tell with all the weeds. I did water last night. The poor hydrangeas looked like they might croak. I was amazed to go back outside just 20 minutes after watering, and the hydrangeas had perked up and looked as healthy as they ever have.
Things are going well here. Charlie was a bit of a shit this morning. He was really just in a bad mood because he woke up while I was in the shower, and I made him wait until I got my make-up on before going in there. He was screaming by the time I got there with a bottle of milk. I think that was just a hard way for him to start his day because he was in a bad mood throughout the feeding but perked up when it was time to dry my hair. By the time it was time to leave, he was in a much better mood. I dropped him at school only to find out TODAY that YESTERDAY he had another gigantic poo. They said the bananas might be making him constipated. The bananas that I have been feeding him to battle the diarrhea he had Thursday-Sunday. Of course I packed bananas again today but certainly would have packed something else had they informed me of his bowel obstruction YESTERDAY. Whatever. He'll eat bananas (mixed w/fresh peaches) today, and I'll saturate him with prune juice tonight. At least he's back on the milk which makes for a much happier Charlie.
When I got ready to head out the door of the his room, I leaned down to give him a hug and a kiss. He stood up, leaned against me and wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug and wouldn't let go. I'm sure he was just enjoying standing, but it felt like such a great big loving hug, I almost scooped him up and went home with him. But, the clock ticked and I was close to running late. So, I had to let him go. It was so sweet. You are going to LOVE his new hugging ability. I really can't wait until he sees you next week. He's going to be so excited! I can just see his little arms and legs pumping vigorously in anticipation of you hugging him.
I tried to call/email/online search about his passport yesterday. The on-line application status system is broken. It says something like, "if you receive this kind of # in your search, please call the 1-800 #." Of course I got the kind of status number they described. So, I called, and called, and called, and called. It's a very long recording detailing every way you can get passport information (and none of them seem to work at the moment). Then, the system asks you to hold and then you immediately get diverted to a message saying that all lines are busy, please call back. They are open until midnight eastern time. I called every 1/2 hour to hour from about 6:30 until 11:00 and got the same f-ing useless system every time. It won't even allow you to wait on hold! So, I filled out an email request form. Supposedly, I will get a response about the status of his passport in 2 days. But, if it's slated to be mailed on May 31, what am I do to? I can't get in touch with anybody!
I also called Congressman Cohen's local office and left a message asking for help. I'm trying not to freak out. My next step is to keep calling and ask the lady in our study abroad office if she has any pointers. Wish me luck!
5/23/2007
I know you are on another exhausting excursion today, but I wanted to give you an update. I finally got through to the passport office (after hitting redial about forty times one after the other), and they told me that Charlie’s passport stuff is still in New Orleans at the processing center. Basically, the lady told me that she would send an email to the center to expedite his passport with a request that I have it in my mailbox by May 31. I have to call back on Friday to make sure the expedition is actually taking place. I asked the CSR what I needed to do if they had not in fact begun to expedite his passport. She said I would need to make an appointment at the regional passport agency – in New Orleans. WTF? Anyhow, I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that a) I can get through to them on Friday [Friday, the day the vomiting began for me], b) they have begun to expedite it, and c) it actually gets here before we need to leave. I just can’t believe the stress this is causing me. I’m trying not to get upset about it, but really. I can’t believe they are cutting it this close. The lady on the phone tried to assure me that this timeframe is actually “good in passport time.” I still don’t feel good about it. So, if I haven’t received it by next Wednesday (May 30), I’m going to call the airline and see what the penalty will be if we have to change our tickets.
In addition to my stress about the passport, I am also EXHAUSTED. Charlie did not go to sleep until 10:00 last night. Tiffany came over and I think he was just too into the fact that someone else was there that he wouldn’t go to sleep. He finally conked out in my arms just after 10:00. Tiffany left and then I got on the phone to try and reach the passport people. I finally got through after about 20 minutes of dialing and then waited on hold for 40 minutes, I kid you not. So, by the time I got off the phone with them it was after 11:00. I finally got in bed at around midnight. Then, Charlie woke up. He went back to sleep and woke up again sometime in the middle of the night, and then again at 5:30. He was really awake this time, so I got up and fed him, with hopes that he would go back to sleep. After his feeding, I decided that we both had to go back to sleep, so I called work and left messages that I would be late. We went back to sleep around 7:00 and slept until 9:00. I feel much better but I’m still tired. I think Charlie had bad gas. He was farting a lot and took a big poop and then kept on farting. Otherwise, he seems fine. I guess I’ll assume that his explosive farts woke him up in the middle of the night!
So, now I’m at work, tired, sad, and extremely annoyed by the day’s menial tasks that have and will get dropped in my lap.
You should check out Stephanie and Chip’s blog. They put some Charlie pics on there.
http://www.chockley.blogspot.com/
I love you and can’t wait to see you. Keep the good vibes going that Charlie and I will get to actually leave on the 1st!
5/24/2007
It sounds like you had a nice trip. MMMMmmm! Gingerbread!! You know I'm sold!
I still haven't heard anything more about the passport, but I plan to call back on Friday as instructed. I'm trying not to get too nervous about it and even plan to call airlines if I haven't received it on Wednesday to see what my options are.
While I would LOVE to revisit Scotland, I think we should go for Ireland since neither of us has ever been. But, I think we could actually visit Scotland since we haven't really seen much of it anyway. That's a tough decision. I'll continue to mull it over.
Yesterday was a little rough. I was tired from the night before with Charlie. We got home last night (after trying to go out to dinner with Diana and ended up leaving because he began to fall apart) and he had another difficult evening of trying to fall asleep. I think he's just going through a horrible phase. He almost fell asleep on the way home, but by the time I got him in the house and in his pajamas, he was wide awake again. But he was exhausted. So exhausted that he could not go to sleep. I tried to hold him, rock him, sing to him, feed him, but nothing worked. He just sat there rubbing his eyes, crying, and arching backward in a defiant fight against what he needed - sleep. Anyway, I finally got into the big bed with him and rubbed his back, and he fell asleep around 10:00. When I put him in his crib, he woke again for a little while, but it was nothing to force me to pick him up again. He slept until it was almost time to leave this morning and when he got up his hair was sticking up in every direction (sorry, I didn't get a picture). So, I'm hoping that this good night's sleep will get him back on track. I think with his illness and diet changes (I think I was giving him too many bananas for the poopy belly and now I'm cutting him off bananas for a while) and a couple of routine interruptions (Tiff came over Tues. for dinner, I tried to take him out to dinner last night), he's just been a little off track. I'm sure he misses you, too, which could be causing him to be grouchy. Missing you is definitely making me a little grouchy!
I'm looking forward to this weekend. I plan to pack most of our clothes and work to get the house in order before leaving. I'm a little worried about the amount of room I will have in my bag; I'm afraid I will sacrifice stuff for me to leave room for Charlie and end up bring only one change of clothes! Regardless, I'm looking forward to preparing for the trip, getting away from here, and spending time with you.
To be continued…(if you are even reading anymore)
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